weddings

'These 7 things should never be worn to a wedding and you can't change my mind.'

It is wedding season (I think). 

Well, I've been to two weddings within a month of each other so I'm claiming it as wedding season. 

It's the one day where you get dressed to celebrate the happy couple. Unfortunately, some people think they get dressed up to celebrate themselves. These people are wrong. 

After talking to some newly wedded brides over a few drinks, I realised that not wearing white to a wedding isn't the only rule we have to abide by.

Watch: Royal wedding guest dos and don'ts. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia

Because I pride myself on being a 10/10 wedding guest, I made it my duty to list all the things that you definitely shouldn't wear as a guest to someone's wedding. 

A white dress.

Okay so this one is a no-brainer, right? 

If you don't know by now, please, please, please do not wear a white dress to someone else's wedding. 

Just like Kelly Kapoor from The Office, I also look great in white. But when it's someone's big day, it is OUT of my colour wheel. 

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I thought this was too obvious to mention but a friend just informed me that not one, but TWO PEOPLE wore white to her wedding. 

What are we doing people? 

A cutout or sheer dress.

Image: Sabo/The Iconic

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I might get some hate for this, but I believe it's for the greater good. 

Look, I'm actually one of those people who is on board the cutout and sheer dress bandwagon. I think women look amazing in those styles of dresses and I'll admit wearing cutouts makes me feel like I'm the main character... except I'm not the main character of someone else's wedding. 

Think of it like this: you look sooooo good in that sheer dress that all eyes are on you instead of the bride... did that convince you? No? Just don't wear the dress okay? It's (and repeat after me) not 👏 your 👏 day 👏.

Sneakers. 

Image: Canva.

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This one spans across genders. Sneakers aren't for weddings even if they do look good with your fit. 

In 10 years the trend will die out and you will want to die with it when you look back at the photos. 

I don't think women should try to force themselves into wearing heels but there are some very cute platforms and flats out there that are much more wedding appropriate. 

An unbuttoned shirt.

Image: Canva.

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This one applies to men so if you have one around you please show him the following statement: PUT YOUR CHEST HAIR AWAY. Please. It will be the main attraction at the wedding and trust me when I say that absolutely no one wants that. 

Logos.

Image: Tommy Hilfiger

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Oh hi, you must be Lewis Hamilton. Oh, you're not? That's weird, I could've sworn that you were a sponsored Formula 1 racecar driver with all those logos covering you. 

Weddings are not a time to flex. Just imagine the bride's Nana looking back at the wedding album asking, "What does that say on Tiffany's dress?" "Givenchy, Nana...", "Who's that?", "The designer of her dress". 

You get where this is going...

Just don't wear the outfit with the logo. This also applies to accessories with logos like caps. Oh also, don't wear a cap to a wedding either. Okay, I'm done.  

Fishnet stockings.

Image: Canva

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Unless the theme of the wedding is Burlesque, I don't want to be seeing fishnets in any wedding albums. The only excuse I'll accept is that the wedding hired a Cabaret group for entertainment and you're a member of the ensemble. 

Costume makeup.

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I love wedding makeup. It's one of the few occasions that I carve out time to put effort into my eye shadow colours. I went to a beach wedding and decided on a subtle orange lid and honestly I'd never looked better. 

However, there's a full face of makeup and then there's costume makeup. 

Now there's an exception to this rule. If you're someone who usually wears costume makeup, then you're allowed to wear it to a wedding. Why? Because people expect that from you. 

This rule only applies to Jane who goes above and beyond with her makeup look for the first time ever and rocks up to the wedding looking like a character from Euphoria. 

I'm sure she looks amazing which is exactly why everyone is staring at her instead of the bride. Don't be like Jane.

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature Image: Canva

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