Em, I hear you and have suffered forever with these. The two things that have helped me immensely are lots of magnesium (tablets) and getting my neck regularly looked at. I see an Osteo once a month who does gentle massage and reduces tension (without adjustment) in my shoulders, neck and jaw. It’s been a game changer. When it’s time, HRT has also helped, so that’s something positive about peri. Best of luck. Alicia