Danni asked why women don’t want to have children in 2024. 13,000 of them responded.

Danni Duncan is a social media influencer who has made a name for herself for an unexpected reason — she doesn't want to have kids. There's a word for it; child-free. And in a viral video, the kiwi content creator has asked others like her to share their "number one" reason for not having kids.

She said in a now-viral video, "My number one reason is I love being alone. Ironically, people use that as a threat, like you're going to be so lonely, but I really love my time for myself." Since posting, the video has amassed more than 63,000 likes and 13,000 comments.

Watch: Be A Good Mum. Post continues after video.

Danni said that while no one owes anyone an explanation on their reasons for being child-free, she was keen to hear what everyone else had to say. Plenty of responses flowed in — from men and women who have become part of the shift in mindset that has allowed them to embrace not having kids.

@danni___duncan

Anyone else?

♬ original sound - Danni Duncan

The number of women who have been having children has steadily been declining for decades. In 2023, the official birthrate was 1.784 per woman, down from 2008 where the birthrate was 2.02 births per woman.

The simple fact is that women aren't just having fewer children — they're closing the chapter on the possibility of starting a family at all. With more and more women (and men) who hold the same views on having children like Danni, it's become clear that it's a lifestyle choice and not just a trend.

When it came to the reasons others gave for not wanting to have children on Danni's video, their responses were varied:

• "I don't want to be a primary parent. If I could be a father, I might have kids. Motherhood is too much work and responsibility."
• "Every parent I know is stressed out of their eyeballs, dead tired and without alone time. I've only just started living life for me."
• "I don't like people and I don't want to make one."
• "Never met a mother whose life I'd love to live."
• "My mental health just can't handle it. I’m anxious and easily overstimulated. I don't like messes and things throwing off my routine. I'm just entirely incompatible with kids."
• "I just don't think going through life on this planet is such a reward. Would not wish it on another human being."
• "My husband and I like living a quiet life and spending our hard-earned money on ourselves."
• "I NEVER want to be pregnant or go into labour."
• "I don't want to wake up before 9am."
• "I simply don't want them. There’s no desire. There’s not a single positive for me."
• "I don't think it's a selfless decision personally. I think I have a big capacity to love a child, but I don't think I could love them in a way they deserve. I think that's ultimately a sacrifice on my part."
• "I am a parent but I always say if I had do to do all over again I wouldn't. don't get me wrong I love my kids, but the love is all-consuming, it's a constant worry, it's the best feeling ever and the worst."
• "The world is a horrible place."
• "Hear me out I'd love to be a mother, but if I were to have a child, it would be incredibly costly. More so than just typically conceiving a child birthing them into the world and raising them."
• "I raised my younger siblings. I absolutely hated it. They always came before me. I finally am able to put myself first and that means so much to me."
• "I teach about 600 kids per week, so I have no need for my own."
• "I see so many mums lose their identity of who they are and hobbies, while the dads are basically unaffected."
• "My reason is also that I love being alone, but also I know how exhausting it is to have kids, I'm a kindergarten teacher and I feel today it’s still so romanticised... for most people, it's very hard."
• "I've never seen a parent that is fulfilled in their personal dreams. They have given up travel and careers and all sorts for their kids."
• "My reason (that also fantastically shuts people down) is that I spent almost a decade not wanting to live anymore, and now that I finally am happy, I want to live for me. Call me selfish."

Earlier this week, Danni shared that despite building a platform as an influencer there was a brand that did not want to work with her because of two simple words: "child-free". 

"Being told brands want to work with me but don't want to represent the child-free community hurts," she said, adding that she lost a partnership because of her decision not to have children.

"I feel incredibly disappointed to know the part of me I'm proud of online is the part they want to remove. I don't want to feel like I am a liability, something that needs to be censored or hidden."

She continued, saying she wanted to "know in my work, I am backed and respected."

"I want brands to be proud to include us," Danni wrote. "I want other child-free people to see themselves in content and to know if you don't have children you are still a family, that you can have a beautiful life just like anyone else."

The influencer asked that if others can be known as a mother, artist or teacher, why couldn't she be known as a child-free person.

"My hope is that brands start to see that being child-free isn't something to fear or be ashamed of. Child-free people are to be included and celebrated just like anyone else," she said.

"Any thank you to the amazing brands who are already doing that."

Danni is not the only influencer who has been vocal or made a name for herself for wanting to be child-free. In November 2023, Australian model and actor, Ellie Gonsalves, shared a list on Instagram of 117 reasons she will not be bringing a child into the world.

She said her list was "personal" and was not intended to speak for any other women. But for the thousands who read her story, it did resonate with them too. Ellie also said that having been with her now-husband, Ross Scutts, for 15 years, the question of them having kids was the most "frequent" one she got.

"After years of being asked why I don't want children, I compiled this as it always seemed a short reason was never good enough or understood," she wrote.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ELLIE GONSALVES (@ellie_gonsalves)

Points on the list ranged from silly or satirical (they can turn into serial killers) to factually correct (like how a foetus can in fact poo inside you). 

"I know some of the things on there might be insignificant compared to what a child might bring, and are some of them vain? Sure," she previously told Mamamia.

"But lots of these fears/thoughts ARE real and resonate with not only me but with so many other women. A lot of them are small things that contribute towards a much bigger picture."

Feature Image: Instagram @danni_duncan.